I don't understand why people are so afraid to speak their minds.
College has really changed me. I’m not afraid to say anything or do something different and unlikely. The number eighteen is significant because it basically signifies maturity. Once you reach eighteen, you are an adult. As an adult, you have to do things on your own, regardless if you wish to stay dependent on your parents or other guardians. It’s a hard road but we are almost pressured to take it or else we just won’t be able to experience anything at all.
What I’m trying to say is that
people really need to tell me how they feel because it is so much easier that way. Talking behind each other’s back is so juvenile and no one will ever understand what they are doing wrong or differently unless they are actually being told so. No one can figure it out on their own and they need help rather than hearing it from other people who were not directly involved. It is so immature that people believe that they could resolve their problems by assuming that someone is so incompetent without letting them know.
Moreover, being eighteen is about being responsible. If you ask someone for a favor, it is not your time, but the person doing the favor’s time. Over the years, people have taken advantage of me to the degree that it was almost a cliche, if that even makes sense. I have to apologize and say that I am not superwoman. I know it is almost clear that I’ve adapted to that whole ‘I don’t give a crap’ attitude but maybe it should just be permanent because sometimes I care too much that I forgot about my duties to myself since I put other people before me - people who would never compensate me for the favors I have done for them. I should say that I am hurt but I really am just bewildered by some individuals’ behaviors and I just want to get this out of the way to whoever. Why do people have to keep doing this? It really isn’t cool at all and this should be a phase that is over and done with. I have been having such a carefree week too but I guess that doesn’t matter to some other people and I guess all they want to do is break my stride.. I always help people no matter what. I have always been there for people, whether or not we talk as much as we did or even ever at all. After talking to some of my closer friends, maybe I am just a little too lenient with people. Still, I am not going to carry on that family trait where we get too carried away with helping people that it ruins the dear things. Don’t throw your issues away. We have to resolve it sooner than later. Maybe I’m not sad about this, but I definitely am really tired of this. It’s getting so old. I’m not in junior high anymore and yet, it followed me to the present tense. I seriously need to take the advice of some of my friends and family who have actually been in my situation. They know how it is, even if it was a decade before my time, it is the same stuff. College is supposed to be about new beginnings, let go of the past. Keep those good friends that were with you throughout high school but unfortunately, you have to let go of those other friends and let them follow their own paths because they have to. This just happens countless times but this can’t cause you to stumble.
Again, sorry if I can’t be your good old, reliable friend but sometimes I have to look out for myself too. I am definitely not trying to offend people but I need “me” time too. My transition is almost complete and you have to let me accomplish this. This doesn’t mean I won’t help people in the future, because I definitely will but I’m not going to wreck my plans and then screw up the both of us. I can’t do that to you or myself. I hope whatever I just typed out made any sense at all. I’m not trying to sound really rude or anything. What I am trying to get across is that I just really wish people would just stop talking to other people about their problems when they are indirectly or not even involved — and instead, talk to me, or whoever is actually involved. It helps. It prevents problems. Ugh, I don’t know. Whatever, in two minutes, this whole blog and anything associated with it in my mind will detonate forever and I am just going to carry on my ‘IDGAF’ attitude anyway :|
..soon bye eighteen :(
What I’m trying to say is that
people really need to tell me how they feel because it is so much easier that way. Talking behind each other’s back is so juvenile and no one will ever understand what they are doing wrong or differently unless they are actually being told so. No one can figure it out on their own and they need help rather than hearing it from other people who were not directly involved. It is so immature that people believe that they could resolve their problems by assuming that someone is so incompetent without letting them know.
Moreover, being eighteen is about being responsible. If you ask someone for a favor, it is not your time, but the person doing the favor’s time. Over the years, people have taken advantage of me to the degree that it was almost a cliche, if that even makes sense. I have to apologize and say that I am not superwoman. I know it is almost clear that I’ve adapted to that whole ‘I don’t give a crap’ attitude but maybe it should just be permanent because sometimes I care too much that I forgot about my duties to myself since I put other people before me - people who would never compensate me for the favors I have done for them. I should say that I am hurt but I really am just bewildered by some individuals’ behaviors and I just want to get this out of the way to whoever. Why do people have to keep doing this? It really isn’t cool at all and this should be a phase that is over and done with. I have been having such a carefree week too but I guess that doesn’t matter to some other people and I guess all they want to do is break my stride.. I always help people no matter what. I have always been there for people, whether or not we talk as much as we did or even ever at all. After talking to some of my closer friends, maybe I am just a little too lenient with people. Still, I am not going to carry on that family trait where we get too carried away with helping people that it ruins the dear things. Don’t throw your issues away. We have to resolve it sooner than later. Maybe I’m not sad about this, but I definitely am really tired of this. It’s getting so old. I’m not in junior high anymore and yet, it followed me to the present tense. I seriously need to take the advice of some of my friends and family who have actually been in my situation. They know how it is, even if it was a decade before my time, it is the same stuff. College is supposed to be about new beginnings, let go of the past. Keep those good friends that were with you throughout high school but unfortunately, you have to let go of those other friends and let them follow their own paths because they have to. This just happens countless times but this can’t cause you to stumble.
Again, sorry if I can’t be your good old, reliable friend but sometimes I have to look out for myself too. I am definitely not trying to offend people but I need “me” time too. My transition is almost complete and you have to let me accomplish this. This doesn’t mean I won’t help people in the future, because I definitely will but I’m not going to wreck my plans and then screw up the both of us. I can’t do that to you or myself. I hope whatever I just typed out made any sense at all. I’m not trying to sound really rude or anything. What I am trying to get across is that I just really wish people would just stop talking to other people about their problems when they are indirectly or not even involved — and instead, talk to me, or whoever is actually involved. It helps. It prevents problems. Ugh, I don’t know. Whatever, in two minutes, this whole blog and anything associated with it in my mind will detonate forever and I am just going to carry on my ‘IDGAF’ attitude anyway :|
..soon bye eighteen :(
Comments